Thought I would add this as my first post. No--wait a sec. I will start saying that the reason why I started this blog.... no wait that sounds too "something-something." But eh, I actually did start this blog because I have random nonsensical thoughts permeating this brain of mine (well really is it on-loan from God, or is it instead a gift?).
And with these nonsensical thoughts of whimsy, I realized that Facebook was not big enough to store them in. A notebook would be, but--who writes these days anyway? Well... I DO write, but I like to type too. Faster.
_____________________________________________________________________________OK anyway, here is my first post, from a pain and drug-induced written rant, over one year ago.
Taken from notes I wrote while in hospital, on January 14, 2009 (note, some slightly embarrassing content follows). No hyperbole (exaggeration) used. The entire note was written over the span of a few hours.
The day after my second surgery, four days after my first surgery failed (Jan 9, and Jan 13, 2009), I was in a ton of distress. Suffering the wrath of a failed surgery, a quick but not wonderful emergency second surgery, many post-op issues, and under a deluge of psychotic reactions from the number of drugs administered in four days, I still had the presence of mind to write down what my body had undergone the day after my second surgery (Jan 14).
The issues listed below lasted for quite some time.
Please note these notes are not ascribing blame to anyone, or any thing, nor are they to be taken as complaining; the notes, as written, simply describe the pain, bewilderment, uncertainty that occurred during the period of time listed below.
[Insert Law and Order "buh buh" sound].
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My Lord God, I have no idea what is going on. This is [garbled writing] what I am going through right now; it is like something out of a black comedy.
1. Recovering from a failed abdominal surgery five days ago; failure discovered yesterday.
2. Therefore recovering from failed surgery while recovering from surgery to correct failed surgery.
3. Since second surgery, am not able to eat or drink a thing so am having constant intravenous saline solution to keep me hydrated. Due to two anaesthetics in four days, my stomach cannot handle any substances whatsoever.
4. Some side effects of anaesthetics are constant parched mouth, dry throat. Incredible thirst. But, due to #3 (cannot drink a thing) no solution found but to suffer through. If I try to drink anything, if I try to eat anything, I will vomit, throw it up. And that really hurts my stomach [all told, 4 raw laparoscopic incisions around bellybutton, 1 raw long c-section incision, further down, which just an inch above a special anatomical feature….].
5. More side effects: have incredible hot/sweating spells where I am completely boiling hot [think literal temperature in a sauna, while sitting in a hospital bed]. This compounds the severe thirst and dry throat quandary as said in #4. Have had temperature taken for the past five days; no fever, however. Note that nurse has to change hospital sheets/hospital gown 3 times a night, and once or twice during the day, because everything is literally drenched and soaked in my own sweat.
6. Have constant, incredibly painful hiccup and acid-reflux problems. Because stomach has been operated on twice in past 5 days, any movement brings extreme pain. Drugs do not help much. Each hiccup is likened to someone stabbing me in stomach, repeatedly. Only way to get rid of hiccups is to sit ramrod straight in hospital bed [recline bed to almost 80 degree angle).
7. In constant distress due catheter and rectal tube insertion for the past five days. Only way to compensate for this extreme discomfort is to lie flat on my back. But if I lie flat on my back, then #6 (hiccup problem) returns with a vengeance, and am therefore in more pain. To accommodate rectal tube extreme duress, I must sit on a pillow. This helps a bit, but, this then compounds the aforementioned heat/sweating problem in #5.
8. Cannot sleep without sleeping pill (the kind you take with water). Without one, am wide awake through all hours of the night, in pain, no sleep. For the past two nights however, there has been no sleeping pills, due to some screwup in hospital records, after my second surgery[pills were taken off my medication record; have to wait for “someone” to put them back on the list. That “someone” had not done it yet].
Have been offered a sub-lingual pill instead (place under tongue, let dissolve), but, historically, I know that these pills do not work. [Usually 0.5 mgs (milligrams), or half a pill will send anyone to sleep, out like a light.] From my first surgery in 2007, I know these pills do not work. I was up to 3 a night mgs in 2007, and was sleeping “OK”at night.
I therefore asked, at the least, to have 3 mgs. I was told, however, that I cannot not have 3 mgs as I am on constant delotid drip [pain med stronger than morphine]. This may cause bad problems. Interesting… I was on delotid last year, and had 3 mg sleeping pills… huh.
To summarize: The main quandary, however, is this: there IS a sleeping pill that will work for me. Currently it is missing in action, until someone gets their act in gear. The nurse day shift is switching in an hour, and I was told that the night-shift nurse will find the pill for me. We shall see…
BUT: this sleeping pill has to be taken with water. I cannot drink water (see #3). I am not sure how this is going to work then…but the only way I can sleep is with this pill [note that staying up for 48 hrs straight with slight drug-induced naps during the day is not a fun thing]. Recall that I will be in a sitting in my bed, in a direct upright position for 10 hours straight (to deal with #6, hiccup problems). #5, extreme sweating, does not help.
9. Sub-problem (ie do not cause pain or discomfort):
9a: Feet and knees are swollen to huge proportions for no apparent reason; not in pain, so no reason to be concerned. Knees feel funny though… [note that after surgery, one needs to constantly move feet, legs, etc, to avoid blood clots. Having 2 surgeries in 4 days makes this sometimes painful to do].
9b: There is a mysterious big bruise lining my entire right side. No pain. Hypothesis: Either caused by internal bleeding (nurse suggestion), or by the numerous “sucker punches” I received by the surgery staff, as they were “packing” sandbags around my body to prep me for surgery #2.
Subnote to 9b: Although still under thrall of original anaesthetic and pain meds from first surgery, I do recall surgery staff literally placing sandbags all around me, then punching them into position. I believe the staff was doing this to ensure that I did not unconsciously roll off the table during surgery. But did they really have to punch them in….?
Subnote to subnote: I also recall surgery staff using my stomach as makeshift table to place all their instruments on. Some were very sharp. Some were very close to my… well, you know. Not sure if this was the drugs, but I even think I recall some of the instruments being “lightly tossed” in the general direction of one of my important organs…
Sub-subnote to 9b: Another hypothesis for bruises on my right side: [note that during surgery, surgical staff stick either a breathing tube down my throat, or some apparatus to keep my throat open (so I don’t suffocate). This apparatus feels like it goes pretty far down the throat]. After my surgery #2, just as the throat-apparatus was being removed, I woke up [usually patients are still out at this point].
Whether it was from the shock of feeling and seeing this device being pulled out from my open throat, or a side effect of the anaesthetics, I began to have incredibly violent convulsions, so much so that the medical staff had to literally hold me down. It hurt, a lot. One Dr sprang into action, and administered 20ccs (or what it mgs?) of Demerol. Violent convulsions stopped, and I remember the person saying, “that usually does the trick!”. So obviously convulsions after surgery is not a rare occurrence….
10. Sore throat and stomach due to #6 (constant, non-stop hiccups), and not being able to have water. This issue may be refreshed by taking water with the sleeping pill (which just arrived), but this will irritate issue #3.
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LATER that evening:
Subnote to possible solution for: sore stomach #10, rectal tube #7, and hiccup issue #6: raise knees to chest. Problem: was told that raised knees may complicate post-op healing process (something to do with internal healing). Another nurse, the night nurse, said, I could try it anyway. Okay then…
Progress note to above subnote: Raised knees relieve 20% of discomfort. Tried lying down on back again when pain started coming back: bad move. Painful hiccups have returned, bringing back its cousin, the “heat wave”.
***Special note*** Note about the “no-drink, no eat rule” as previously stated. The night after first surgery (Jan 9), a nurse gave me two super-size cups apple juice. I drank both [thirst issue was starting…]. No problems. Tonight, I mentioned this to night nurse, and was told that post-op patients could only have sips of water at the most. The night-nurse was actually shocked that another nurse had given me these drinks.
So… the two super-size cups of apple juice were not a good idea… Perhaps the acid in the apple juice is why I cannot now hold anything down (I should not be having this problem, according to the nurses). So it makes sense that the acid in the AJ could wreck some internal havoc… Regardless, I am not happy with the nurse who gave me apple juice. I do not want her looking after me.
Addendum: 11:50 pm: Finally took sleeping pill (supposed to arrive at 9:30…). Took it with water, as nurse said I could try it. Gave me a super-sized cup of water, but said to “only take two sips.” Man alive! Place a big cup of water by someone who has been thirsty and parched and dry-throated beyond compare for 5 days, and you tell him to only take “two sips???” So I drank half of the cup.
Will see what happens. LORD, please give me some rest.
